Jump Start # 1010
Galatians 2:11 “But when Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned.”
Cephas is Peter. He messed up. He felt pressure from the Jews and refused to associate with Gentiles. He knew better. Remember the story of Cornelius and Peter’s three visions from God declaring all things clean? Peter preached to the Gentiles. Peter ate with Gentiles. The Jewish prejudice against Gentiles, even among Christians, grew. Peter caved in. Others followed his lead, including Barnabas. Paul learned about this. Paul went to Peter. One apostle to another apostle. Paul opposed Peter to his face.
Several interesting thoughts here.
First, the apostles were not beyond sin. The impression some have in the religious community is that the apostles, especially Peter, were perfect. They were not. This is one example. They were chosen representatives of Christ, gifted with the Holy Spirit, but still had to put everything together and make righteous choices. They didn’t always do that.
Second, being inspired by God didn’t affect everything that they did. Inspiration involved the transmission of God’s will into preaching or writing. The Holy Spirit did not keep them from doing wrong. The Holy Spirit does not take over our will or our choices. Peter decided that he was through with the Gentiles. Wrong choice. Not God’s choice. The Holy Spirit did not keep Peter from making wrong choices.
Third, Paul opposed Peter to his face. Paul didn’t have a lot of options in communication, like we do. He could have sent a letter. He didn’t. He could have sent someone else, he didn’t. He went. He took the time. He found Peter and spoke to Peter. Some things need to be done face to face. I fear that too many today would have simply sent a text message. Texting is a wonderful tool. It is quick, easy and very convenient. Our society loves to text. It has become such a huge thing that most states have outlawed texting while driving. We text while watching tv. We text in bed. We text while eating. We text in church—yes, it happens. Texting has developed a new vocabulary. Abbreviated words have replaced spelling out the entire word. It’s fast and easy. Is there anything wrong with texting? Not really, except some things need to be said face to face. Parents need to look into the eyes of their kids and talk to them about life. Husbands and wives need to talk to each other. Shepherds need to talk to the members of the congregation face to face. Texting can make it easy to avoid the hard topics. We can hide behind our text. We can sound tough in our texts. Nothing will ever replace the face to face conversations that need to take place in relationships. It is not uncommon to go out to eat and to look over at a table and see everyone on their phones texting someone. There is a time to put the phones down and talk. I believe if Solomon were alive today, he would have added in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a time to text and a time to talk face to face.
Confrontations are not fun, easy or quick. They are often messy. People tend to get defensive and fire shots back. Many avoid confrontations at all costs. They will close their eyes to things that are wrong instead of speaking out, because they do not want a confrontation. Some will let others take advantage of them to the point that they feel like a slave and not an employee. They allow this because they do not want to cause problems. They will suffer and be miserable and often tolerate wrong rather than talk about it. Paul wasn’t like this. Paul was spending most of his time with Gentiles. He had established many churches among the Gentiles. What Peter was doing was directly affecting Paul. He went. He didn’t tell the apostle John. He didn’t threaten Peter. He went. Face to face, Paul brought the subject up.
This needs to be done at home. There are times this needs to be done among brethren. No gossip. No anonymous letters. No threats. No mobs. Face to face. Pray about this before it happens. Gather all of your facts. Don’t go on what someone else has said. Look into the matter. Find a time when there will be time to discuss. Shouting at a teenager as he walks out the door isn’t the time. Standing in front of the TV while someone is trying to watch it is not the time. Tell the person that you’d like to talk with them this week. If they fail to come up with a time, remind them. When you meet with them, don’t crush them. Be kind. You are trying to change behavior. Choose your words carefully. Anticipate being interrupted. Know that the person will go on the defensive and may get loud and angry. Don’t follow down that path. State why you feel that they did wrong. Keep it to the point. Keep it simple. Keep it short. Don’t give a 30 minute sermon. That’s my job on Sunday. See the big picture. It’s more than you. Stick to principles.
Finally, the day may come when someone must sit you down and have a talk with you. None of us are beyond this. None of us are perfect. If Paul confronted Peter, there probably will be a time when someone needs to sit down with me. We get caught up in things and often forget about who we are or what all we should be doing. Be the type of person that someone feels that they could come and talk to you. Some fear confrontations because they don’t want a dog fight. It takes two to do that type of fighting. Don’t be that kind of a dog. Don’t make someone dread coming to you. Next, when they speak, you listen. Hear them out first. They may have the story wrong. This may be an easy fix. Listen first. Repeat the complaint. Make sure you understand what is bothering the person. If they are right, apologize and fix it. If they are not right, explain why. Do it kindly.
Remember, in your Bibles, Nathan confronting David about adultery and murder. David was the king. This was about as serious as it gets. He walked through it carefully. He painted a picture that he hoped David would see. When he didn’t, he got very specific—”Thou art the man!”
Years ago, I had a couple upset with me because I didn’t call on the man to say a prayer at the start of my classes. I couldn’t tell you who I called on from week to week. I put very little time on that. I’d walk in, and see someone and ask them to pray. They sat in the back and I overlooked him. They were worked up. They had it in their minds that I didn’t like them. They had gotten all steamed up and were nearly in tears by the time I was aware of it. I went to their home. I apologized. We hugged. I wrote the man’s name on the top of my notes so I wouldn’t forget to call on him. A problem was taken care of. It was nothing to me. It was huge to them. That’s how problems are. We only see it from our perspective and don’t think anything about it. People have hurt feelings and the other party often knows nothing about it. This scene takes place in homes all the time. The husband walks in and can tell immediately that his wife is upset. He doesn’t know why. He asks her what’s wrong. Her words are, “You know.” Most times, he doesn’t. He has to start guessing. She grows impatient with him because he ought to know but doesn’t. He becomes frustrated because she won’t tell him. A little issue quickly escalates into a major battle. Communication is the key. Learning what Paul did is the key.
Face to face. As hard as that is, sometimes, and often times, that is the best way!
Roger