16

Jump Start # 563

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

Jump Start # 563

1 Timothy 3:1 “It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do.”

We continue our series on man leadership, focusing especially upon the home. Our passage today is about the church. This verse begins what is commonly called the qualifications for an elder (or bishop). These “qualifications” are actually characteristics and manners of a man of God. His attitude, home, experience are part of the description of who he really is. These qualities describe a man who is walking with God.

In many congregations, there are too few men who meet these standards or who want to lead God’s people. It is an enormous task. It is not about budgets, writing checks, or deciding which color to paint the classroom walls—it’s about leading people, God’s people. Fathers ought to be doing this already in the homes. Without these spiritual leaders, the church is limited, the work is slowed and the arrangement is never the best. Congregations ought to develop men into these roles and current leaders should mentor others so they could learn. That’s the ideal situation.

All of this begins with that simple expression from our verse today, “if any man aspires.” Other translations state it, “if any man desires.” If a man wants to do it. That is about as far as many go. They will say, “I don’t want to,” “It’s not a good time for me,” “I’m too busy right now.” The lack of desire to lead God’s people hurts. There may have been bad experiences that they witnessed in the past, or, it may be that they lack confidence in themselves, but, the bottom line is that we are not seeing many today stepping up and leading. Staying on the sidelines is becoming the norm. That example is being passed on from one generation to another. We need godly leaders. We need those who will take a stand with God. We need those who are willing to get involved and make a difference in the lives of others. Where are they?

There is a strong parallel between what is happening in the church and what is happening at home. One of the common complaints wives have about their husbands is that he won’t lead. He doesn’t take charge. He’s not acting like the head. He doesn’t want to do the hard and messy stuff. He wants to be the fun guy. He wants the kids to view him as their buddy. So the task of making tough decisions, being the authority falls to mom. Mom doesn’t want it, but she does it because dad won’t. He’s too busy having a good time, being a kid with the kids. He doesn’t want the responsibility.

Not only is dad letting the home down by not leading as God wants him to, he is adding tension and strain to the marriage because mom is getting tired and frustrated with his failure to step up and do his job. In many ways, mom feels as if she has another child, the one who is supposed to be her husband. Dad’s failure to lead creates an inconsistency in the home as well. Kids will see it. Dad becomes the favorite. He won’t get on them. He lets the rules slide and he’s not likely to discipline. It all falls to mom. Issues come up and dad and mom are not on the same page. The kids will side with dad because “he’s cool.” “Mom,” they say, “is mean.” No. Mom is trying to lead and dad isn’t helping.

Does any of this sound familiar? Is it your home? This is more than a parenting issue, it is a failure to fulfill what God wants. The lack of leadership by men is not the design God had for the home. Men are equipped to be leaders. That’s the way God wired us. What’s to be done? What can mom’s do when dad won’t?

 

  • You are dealing with a Biblical issue. When someone isn’t stepping up to what God says, it’s always a Biblical issue. God’s word is the solution here. Looking at what God says, like Eph 6:4, “Fathers…”, will remind and teach dads what their role should be. Understanding that the failure to lead hurts the family and that this example will influence how the kids will become is a serious matter.
  • Pray about it. Pray helps and God can do things.
  • Realize that as a parent I can never be my child’s buddy. Buddies only have fun. Buddies don’t have rules. God made you a parent, not a buddy. The rules teach responsibility. They are necessary to help in the development and growth of a child. Being a kid when you are supposed to be the adult doesn’t work. Don’t use their language. Don’t dress like them. Be the leader, and lead.
  • Start with little things, little steps. Lead the prayer at dinner. Talk about Bible class lessons together.

What if the man still won’t lead? What if he doesn’t want to? What if he doesn’t feel like it? Shaming him, nagging him, giving him loads of guilt won’t work. That’s where moms turn to when all else fails. How about you and him, reading these Jump Starts together and talking about them. We’ve devoted a week to this topic. These will be printed up in a small booklet and if you want one, drop me an email (Rogshouse@aol.com). He may have never learned male leadership. His dad may not have been a good example. Ask him if he would be interested in reading Steve Farrer’s “Point Man”? Don’t just buy the book and throw it at him. He’ll never read it, that way. Ask him.

Compliment him when he does lead. Let him know you are proud of him when he takes charge and can be counted on.

He especially needs to see that he is shaping the future of his boys. Life is not all play. Life is not all about self. Taking the boys with him to serve others is incredible. My three boys grew up going with me to shovel the drive ways of our neighbors. They’d groan and sometimes complain, but they did it with me. We did that a lot. Today, all of them have the heart of a servant. It wasn’t shoveling snow, it was going with dad to help someone else. They’d ask “why do we have to do it?” They’d ask, “How come none of the other neighbors are doing this?” It provided opportunity to talk about being a servant and what it means to do things for others. I was so proud of them one winter day when I was out of town, that they got up, and on their own, they shoveled the neighbor’s drive way. The lesson was learned. What kind of men do you want your boys to become? I never pushed my boys into preaching. That’s not for everyone. I did, however, want them to learn to use their talents and help a church when they could. They have given lessons, lead singing, taught Bible classes and one of them is preaching today. I’ve proud of all of them. They became because they saw and they were led. If you want your boys to be leaders, they need to see it in you.

Dads, we need you to lead. Mom can’t do it. She’s not supposed to. There are some things that she can’t do. We need you to be the spiritual giant in your home. We need you to be the “go to guy” of the family. You can do it, because God believes in you. Work at it. Study about it. Talk to others about it. Get together with other men and have a class on this. Pray about it. But realize, it’s time to get off the sidelines and get engaged with what is going on in your home and lead it. God will not let you off the hook because mom did it all. God will not excuse you because you didn’t want to do it. Sorry, it falls to you. It’s up to you.

 

What kind of home do you want? Dysfunction does not have to define your home. I hope this series has helped. I hope we can capture our homes and bring them back to God where they belong.

Roger

 

 

15

Jump Start # 562

Posted on March 15, 2012 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 562

Hebrews 11:7 By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.

Our series on male leadership continues as we take a look at Noah. This hero of faith is held up as one who stood out with great faith in a world that disappointed God. Noah obeyed God. Noah walked with God. What we often don’t realize is that Noah was a leader.

This passage states that Noah prepared an ark “for the salvation of his household.” Noah saved his family. During the construction of the ark, Noah preached. Peter calls him a preacher of righteousness. Apparently few listened. Only Noah and his family entered the ark. Today, many would look upon Noah as a terrible preacher. After all those years of preaching, only his family listened. In the preaching world, Noah would have a tough time finding a job today. We too often judge success by numbers and not by faith. Noah saved his family. If every family did only that, our church buildings would be busting at the seams.

Noah prepared an ark for the salvation of his household. Consider what that meant.

 

  • First, Noah was building most likely the largest boat ever built at that time. He didn’t build it next to a lake or the ocean. People must have wondered how he was going to get the boat to water. The building project took years and years to accomplish. Neighbors must have thought that O’ Noah was off his rocker.
  • Noah warned his neighbors about a coming rain and flood. There is a strong case to be made that it had never rained before this. Genesis tells us that God made a mist from the ground that watered things. It’s hard to convince folks of something they have never seen before.
  • Noah was to place many animals in the ark. People must have thought how is that to be accomplished? How are you going to round them all up?

Strange things to a world that didn’t believe. Noah was different. He put his trust in God and not what his neighbors thought. He stayed with it, even though his neighbors may well have questioned him, ridiculed him, and even laughed at him. Noah’s faith is what carried him through.

Leaders will do just what Noah did. Spiritual leaders especially, and in this series, spiritual dads, will walk by faith and listen to what God says. If you want to save your family, you must be willing to do things differently than what everyone else is doing. The majority do not walk with God. The majority are on a path of destruction. Remember the Lord’s words about the strait and the narrow way? Spiritual leaders are not interested in being a typical family. Average doesn’t cut it for them. What everyone else is doing isn’t good enough. Spiritual dads are willing to be different to save their families.

  • Spiritual dads are going to go to church services every week with the family. With Bibles in hand, they are going to worship the God of Heaven and earth. They are setting the pace that God is important.
  • Spiritual dads are going to have a time for the family to be together. Meal time is one occasion. Other times may be a family night. Talk, fun, games, connecting will take place. This is missing today. Everyone is in their own corner of the house with their own electronic gadgets, many spending more time on facebook than “face to face” with their family. Spiritual dads are going to lead the family to togetherness.

 

  • Spiritual dads are going to lead the family in prayers and devotion to God. The family will discuss and talk about what they learned from sermons and Bible classes. It’s a great time to lower the nets and get beyond superficial chit chat and shallow thinking. This is where character is built and proper attitudes are formed. Spiritual dads will take the lead in molding these young and tender hearts.
  • Spiritual dads will lead the family on projects to help others. It may be doing yard work for an elderly neighbor. It may be taking food to a sick member. It may be going to the hospital or funeral home –together, as a family. Spiritual dads will not shelter the kids from these things. They will show the kids how to serve others and in so doing develop the servant’s heart.
  • Spiritual dads will lead the family in righteous ways. This may make them unpopular at home, because they will turn the TV off when inappropriate shows are being watched. They will be on top of who their kids friends are and where and what they are planning to do. They may discourage certain friendships because of the character and behaviors of some. Spiritual dads will stand with God. They will discipline. They will be the authority in the home. Spiritual dads will not allow the kids to sass mom, to back talk or to cop an attitude. That’s the scene in most homes. Spiritual dads aren’t interested in doing what most do, they want to do what God wants. Being different, being weird doesn’t bother spiritual dads. They know where they are headed and they are walking side by side with the Lord.

Noah sure was weird in his time. But all these hundreds and hundreds of years later, here we are talking about Noah. Can you name one of Noah’s neighbors? Gone. Forgotten. Lost. Drowned. Noah didn’t fit in the selfish and sinful world he lived in. Spiritual families today are just like that. The latest fashion, the hottest show, who kissed who in Hollywood means nothing to spiritual families. Their heroes are not found in glamour magazines or ESPN, but in church buildings. I’ve seen young children lined up after a gospel meeting with their Bibles opened to a blank page, waiting patiently so the guest preacher will sign their Bibles. They are interested in the autographs of spiritual giants.

What kind of family do you want? Normal, typical family? Or are you willing to be different, and take all the things that comes with that, to have a spiritual family. I know a family that has their own personal tract rack at home. When someone visits or knocks on the door, they can give them literature about the Bible. That’s weird. I know a family that on a Friday night, invites several people into their home to sing hymns. That’s weird. I know a family that took their vacation to travel to another state to attend a lectureship at a church. That’s weird. I know a family that writes letters to preachers overseas. The children color pictures that are included with the letters. That’s weird. I know a family that has a large jar in their kitchen. Each day, everyone deposits whatever change they have in their pockets. When enough money is collected, the family goes and buys a Bible for someone. That’s weird. I know a family that takes one Saturday a month to visit the nursing home. They don’t know anyone there. They just go and visit and sing some songs with the patients. Yes, nursing homes smell. Yes, there are some ballgames the kids could be playing, but it’s their way of making a spiritual difference. Weird, isn’t it? I know a family that will go on a school night to a gospel meeting at another congregation. That’s weird.

What’s going on in your home? Is everyone coming home, immediately turning the TV on, and going off by themselves until bedtime, only to start the same thing again tomorrow? Home, for many, is more like an apartment building. Everyone is under the same structure, but they don’t really connect with each other. That’s normal in America. Is that your home? Is that the way you like it? Is that making a difference spiritually?

Noah was different. Noah saved his family. It’s time we quit worrying about fitting in and start being different and start saving your family. Dads, it all starts with you. It wasn’t Mama Noah who did these things, it was Noah.

It’s ok to be different, if it saves your family. Just ask Noah some day!

Roger

 

14

Jump Start # 561

Posted on March 14, 2012 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 561

Ezekiel 34:4-5 “Those who are sickly you have not strengthened, the diseased you have not healed, the broken you have not bound up, the scattered you have not brought back, nor have you sought for the lost; but with force and with severity you have dominated them. They were scattered for lack of a shepherd, and they became food for every beast of the field and were scattered.”

Our Jump Starts this week are looking at male leadership, especially in the home. This passage from Ezekiel shows the failure of Israel’s leaders. God referred to them as “shepherds” in verse two. They did not do what they were supposed to. The context shows that they cared for themselves, but did not have the wellbeing of the nation at heart. They failed to lead, protect or help.

God uses the same term to describe the leaders of His church, shepherds. All too often, these words of Ezekiel describe the condition of churches today. People are not cared for spiritually and the leaders have not done their jobs. God’s people suffer, and the kingdom fails to grow. Leadership involves leading, knowing people and knowing how to help them.

The first level of leadership begins in the home. Dads are to lead the family. These sad words of Ezekiel also describes many homes today. Lack of communication, leadership and spiritual direction has allowed the family to become vulnerable and adrift spiritually. Current statistics within churches of Christ,  indicate 50% of the kids attending church now will not continue to do that in their adult life. They will leave. That’s one out of every two children. The stats are worse for those outside this fellowship. Off to college and away from God is what is happening in too many congregations. Parents feeling guilt, point fingers at the church. Better classes would have helped. May have. Getting the kids together for social things would have helped. It might. A different preacher. Possibly. It may be the kids were influenced by the far country and nothing could have been done. But again, it may have been a leadership issue at home.

Years ago, Steve Farrar wrote a book called “Point Man.” It’s still in print. Every male ought to read it. It reminds us of what the Bible teaches. The concept came from the patrols American soldiers were making in Vietnam. A small group would go through the jungle, in advance of the major body of soldiers. They were to see if the area was safe. At the lead of this small patrol, was the point man. He was the first person down the path. He had to be the eyes and the ears for the soldiers behind him. If he walked into an ambush, all of them would be wiped out. He had to check for booby traps, mines and all the things that the enemy may have awaiting them.

Farrar uses that concept of the point man to describe the role of fathers. Dad is out leading the family. He is the ears and eyes of his family. His leadership, decisions and choices determine if the family is safe or if they walk into an ambush.

A point man who is sleepy, not alert, having an off day, or simply just not into it anymore, will be the death for an army patrol or a family. This means dads, there are times when you have to turn the ballgame off, because one of the kids needs you. The time you spend with that child and the way you approach that child can determine whether he makes it or not. My kids are all in their 20’s now, but I well remember those earlier days. That soft couch and a ball game on TV made for some real relaxation. Home work projects, someone having a bad day, someone in a foul mood, someone not connecting with Jesus would pull me off that couch. I don’t remember now who was playing in most of those games. I do remember helping my kids. Sometimes I was tired and just didn’t feel like it. I sometimes wished that their needs and my schedule could be on the same page, it never was.

The sheep are scattering, where is the shepherd? How do you want to answer that question? Watching a ball game? Taking a nap? Those sheep are your sheep.

The late Barbara Johnson wrote a whole series of books for mothers. I got to know Barbara personally, in fact, we even talked about doing a book together. Through humor she helped many parents. She had an expression that popped up in many of her books, “Where does a mother go to resign?” She understood. You don’t. You can’t. We may quit many things in life, you can’t quit being a parent. It’s there and it’s your job.

Tired shepherds, bored shepherds, shepherds who wish they were anything other than shepherds only makes the job at hand harder. If you are a parent, you are a parent, and dads, you must care and lead that family. Our selfish times have allowed people to excuse themselves from work, obligations and family because “they don’t feel like it.”

It is interesting, that expression, “I don’t feel like it,” is never found in the Bible. God never said to Noah, “I’m destroying all life except what is in that boat. Oh, by the way, how do you feel about it?” No. God never told Abraham, “How do you feel about sacrificing your son to me?” He never even said that to Jesus, “How do you feel about crosses?” How we feel about things is the first indication of selfishness. It doesn’t matter how the shepherd feels, the sheep needs him. They need protection, feeding, watching and care. If the shepherd doesn’t do it, they will scatter and become lunch for wolves. You go to work when you don’t feel like it. The kids go to school when they don’t feel like it—or, they ought to. You go to worship when you don’t feel like it. If we waited until we felt like it, nothing would ever get done. You go, you do, because it’s the right thing to do.

God was upset with the leaders of Israel. They were not doing their jobs. I expect God’s feelings are about the same with some dads today, because they don’t feel like being dads. There are parts of a shepherd’s job that aren’t very fun. Shepherds had to stick their fingers into the ears of sheep to clean out bugs. Boy, that sounds like a fun day! They had to separate some sheep when friction arose between them. They had to always be watching for wolves. They had to help those that got injured, often carrying a young one on their shoulders. Shepherds smelled like sheep. Pig farmers smell like pigs. Fishermen smell like fish. There are parts of parenting that are not pleasant, but they must be done. Changing diapers is nothing compared to trying to change attitudes of teenagers. It can be messy. It comes with parenting. You can’t resign. You can’t stop because you don’t feel like it.

Your family needs you. You are the eyes and the ears. Know what is going on in your house. Know who the kids are talking to and what they are talking about. Know what’s running through their hearts. Are they sickly and weak spiritually? Do you know?

Before you is your greatest job you will ever do, it is parenting. You are raising another generation. A generation that will walk with the Lord. A generation that will make a difference. To do that, you must be engaged, committed and give of yourself. You must be different. If you do what everyone else is doing, disaster will happen. You must be engaged with them.

Dads, you are the eyes and ears of the family. They are counting on you to get them home safely. They need you TODAY.

Roger

 

 

 

13

Jump Start # 560

Posted on March 13, 2012 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 560

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

We continue with our series on the role of men. Our passage today defines the role of dads in the home as God would like it. Fathers are leaders. Fathers are to bring the children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Fathers are the spiritual influences of their children. Fathers are the first impression that the children get of leadership and authority. That’s the way it ought to be.

We know it’s often not this way. Absentee dads, dads that do not come to church services themselves, dads who have little knowledge or concern for spiritual values, dads who let moms do all the raising of the children has become the norm in our society. Dads don’t feel like it. Dads are too busy doing their own thing or trying to find themselves. Dads are gone with the guys, leaving moms to care for the bringing up of children

Our passage presents both a negative and a positive. It begins with the negative, “do not provoke your children to anger.” The parallel in Colossians says, “Do not exasperate your children, so they will lose heart.” Don’t discourage them. Don’t provoke them to anger. Sure kids will get mad. They get mad when they have to go to bed before they are ready. They will get mad when you turn off the TV and make them do their homework. They get mad when they have to eat veggies and they don’t want to. Such is life. This is not what Paul is saying. Paul is dealing with the “provoking to anger.” Provoke—brings the image of a bully, ridicule, making fun of, putting down, destroying the spirit.

  • This happens when there is constant criticism and little praise. This is when we create an atmosphere in which they can never do enough and they can never please. A’s are enough for some dads, it should have been # 1 in the class. Varsity isn’t enough, it should be breaking the school records. Push and push and push until the child hates the sport…the child hates his childhood…the child hates life. Don’t break the child.

 

  • This happens when dads compare children with each other. Each is different—in talent, ability and capability. Comparisons never end well.
  • This happens when dads have favorites among the kids. It may be the boy who plays sports, over the girl who sings in the choir. Dad may not know how to relate to the girl. It may be a son who likes fixing things over the son who is into computers. When there is a favorite, there is also one who is not the favorite, and that creates bitter jealousy. Jacob and Esau lived that way.

Instead of doing that, God wants dads to bring children up in the nurture (discipline) and instruction of the Lord. This is more than dropping the kids off at the front door of the church and then going back to bed until church is over. Throughout this country, I’ve seen many, many families, where dad is absent from church services. How can he do what God wants when he is not growing, learning or walking in the instruction of the Lord? The thrust of the passage is directed to fathers, not the church. It’s not the church who will bring the children up, it’s dads.

This means throughout the week, dad is connecting the kids to God. Prayers at the dinner table ought to be as regular as the food. The Bible ought to be read together, at home. When things come up, and they do almost every day, connections to what God wants us to do should be given. The expression, nurture or discipline means care. As a tender plant needs care so it will grow, so do children. It’s not barking out commands and orders, that you do not follow yourself. It doesn’t take much of that for children to see how inconsistent you are. “Don’t use bad language,” but dad does. “Don’t drink,” but dad does. “Don’t be mean to others,” but dad is. Before long, the kids will do what you do and not what you say. Ever notice that Jesus wasn’t that way. Before He told the disciples, He showed them. He was and they could look to Jesus as an example. Leading by example. That’s the key.

 

The other expression, “instruction of the Lord,” simply means God’s teaching. Bring them up by the book. Talk about the Bible. Make it a household friend. Use it, refer to it, look things up in it. Worship as a family. Honor God at home.

Dads who aren’t into those things and who aren’t connected to God will fail here. They’ll pass the responsibility to moms, who do the best that they can. It’s not supposed to be that way. The leadership of ancient Israel, was male. The leadership in the early kingdom was male apostles. The leadership today is male. It’s not about greatness, but order. That’s the way God designed it. Those who try to change it, sooner or later, will change God into a mother. Don’t go there. That’s wrong. God defines Himself. He is not our mother who art in Heaven, He is our Father.

Many incredible Christians can look back and see the role that their dads had in their development. Dads were in the stands cheering them on. Dads sitting at the kitchen table helping them with spelling words. Dads teaching them to throw a ball, ride a bike, or leading a prayer. They sat beside dad in church services. They went with dad to help a neighbor. They talked. They saw. They felt loved. They saw God through their dads. I have a dad like that. I sat beside him yesterday at a funeral in Indianapolis. The man who died was the same age of my dad. He served in WW II as my dad had. He was a Marine as my dad was. At the end of the funeral, the Marine hymn was played. I looked over at dad. His eyes were closed and he was crying. I rarely remember my dad ever crying. When we walked outside, he told me that song got to him. He said he could see all the white crosses of his fellow soldiers years ago. Dad taught me a few lessons yesterday. Amazing, after all these years, he is still teaching and I’m still learning. The best examples come from watching and seeing.

Dads are like that.

Dads, you are your child’s greatest teacher. Get busy, they grow fast.

Roger

 

12

Jump Start # 559

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Jump Starts Daily in Jump Starts Daily | Tagged | Leave a comment

 

Jump Start # 559

Ephesians 5:23 “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church. He Himself being the savior of the body.”

A friend of mine asked me to write a series of Jump Starts about male leadership. This is something that many see lacking in so many areas. In the home, men have resolved themselves to the image portrayed on the sitcoms, clueless, lifeless and only concerned about food and sports. In the church, men are not stepping up as leaders. In the community, where are the men who are role models and examples? These concerns are felt by many. It is having an impact. In many churches, the lack of male leadership is crippling growth and progress. Men aren’t stepping up spiritually and the church suffers.

There may  be many reasons for all of this and I’m not sure one specific has a greater cause than the others. The rise of feminism plays a major role in all of this. The cry for equality has gone too far. It’s one thing to say, “give everyone the same opportunity” or “equal pay for the same job,” but it’s not the same to say, that men and women are the same, equal in all things and anything one can do, the other can. Men and women are not the same. Who ever says that must have  slept during biology class. No only do we look different, but we are wired differently. Most get that. When you were a kid and something broke, most of us went to our dads so he would fix it. When we fell off our bike  and skinned a knee, it was mom we ran to. Her tender ways helped make things better. Men and women are wired differently. Both are needed in the home. Aside from obvious disobedience of God’s law, homosexual couples, cannot offer a child the balance and mixture that a man and women can. Don’t argue with this, God knows. He’s the one that set the order and arrangement in the home.

Our passage today sets for a divine principle: Husband is the head of the wife. Don’t read more into that more than what was intended. Remember in 1 Cor 11, where it is stated again, it also teaches that God is the head of Christ. We know that Jesus was equal with the Father. He was not a “lesser” God or an inferior God—not in power, knowledge, love, or, will. Husband, being the head, is about order in the home. This does not mean that the husband is smarter than his wife, stronger than his wife, or better than his wife. This is not a competition about “who’s the best.” It’s about order. Jesus came and spoke the words of the Father. Jesus did the works of the Father. In the garden Jesus prayed, “let this cup pass from Me, not My will, but Thy will be done.” The will of the Father trumped Jesus’ will. Was Jesus less than the Father? No. It was about order. Jesus submitted His will to the will of the Father.

What has happened is that the order has gotten out of order. Some men have misunderstood this charge that they are the head and that has gone to their heads. They feel that principle gives them the right to bark orders and be coddled like a king on the throne. Others, have abdicated their role and the home is either “headless,” or mom becomes the head, or the kids are in charge. This is not the arrangement that God wants.

Our passage tells us that husbands are the head of the wife, AS Christ is the head of the church. That’s conditional. Husbands are not at liberty to do as they please. They are a head as Christ is a head. To grasp this concept, a person must look and study Christ. How is Christ the head of the church. Husbands are the head AS…That little word, “as” changes everything. The chapter before, Paul told these same people that they were to forgive one another “even as Christ” has forgiven them.

Men are to lead like Christ. In Matthew 11, Jesus called for the weary and heavy laden to come to Him for He was gentle in heart and He would give them rest. In John 10, Jesus is defined as the good shepherd, who goes before the sheep, knows the sheep and will lay down His life for the sheep. In John 13, Jesus washed the disciples feet. He told them that the servant isn’t above the master and if He washed their feet, they ought to do the same. Not wash feet, but SERVE. Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery. Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well. Jesus invited Himself to the home of Zaccheus, the tax collector.

What image do you see developing here from Jesus? Bossy? Demanding? Out of touch? Too busy to care about others? Not willing to get His hands messy? Too good for some? None of those. You see a caring Savior. You see one who served.  If this is how Christ is the head, this is the pattern that men must walk in the home to please God.

A phrase that we hear often is to “Man up.” In Texas, they say, “Cowboy up.” It means to step up to your responsibilities and get about doing what you are supposed to do. Man up. Quit being a baby. Quit giving up because it’s hard or you don’t feel like it. Man up. Lead that family. Husbands are the head…in flying, he’s the pilot…in sailing, he’s the captain of the ship…in sports, he’s the coach. He doesn’t do it all, nor can he do it all, but he leads. He makes decisions that will affect everyone in that home.

First and foremost, he is to lead that family to Heaven. That is the ultimate role of the head. It may mean being the tough guy, and saying “No,” to certain TV shows. It may mean blowing the trumpet on Sunday morning and getting everyone up and going to church services. It may be seeing that everyone is connecting with each other and God. Headship or leadership, as Christ did—those are the thoughts that husbands must focus upon. It’s not about getting your way, or being in charge, as it is following the example of Jesus. Love, care, and direction—it came from Christ, it comes from husbands. That means, the husband has to know where he is going. That means, his focus and attention is upon the wellbeing of the family, especially the spiritual health of the family.

If a cruise ship sinks, as it did recently in the news, who do the fingers point to? Not the guy who makes the salad or the guy who takes pictures, rather, it’s the captain. He’s in charge. If the plane goes down, they look to the pilot. If the country goes sour, they look to the president. If the home falls apart, God looks to the head, the husband. He’s at the helm. He’s leading the home. Headship includes making decisions, decisions that are best for the family. Decisions that are best for the spiritual health of the family. The decisions may not be what dad would choose, if he was by himself, but he’s not by himself. He’s leading his family. He’s the head. So, he will make wise and godly choices that will help the family.

Are you sensing the importance of the husband being a spiritual giant in the family? Do you see that God is counting on you to get the family to Heaven?

For our readers who are single and dating. Give this some thought. Is the person you are dating of spiritual fiber to help you get to Heaven. Is he a leader?

We will continue these thoughts this week. It’s time for men to wake up. Too many are asleep at the helm and are unaware that the family is adrift and no one is doing anything about it. Wake up men! Take hold of the wheel. It’s time to lead that family in the course that God has plotted long ago.

Roger