Jump Start # 708

2 Corinthians 7:8 For though I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it—for I see that that letter caused you sorrow, though only for a while—

Sometimes the hard thing has to be done. It may not be easy nor pleasant, but it is the right thing to do. This is the thought behind our verse today. The Corinthians were a mess spiritually. Division and immorality had gone unchecked for far too long. Nothing was being done. One member was having immoral sexual relations with either his mother or his step-mother. In his first letter, first Corinthians, Paul blistered them for doing nothing about this. He told them to practice spiritual discipline and become the pure body of Christ that they were supposed to be.

Titus came to Paul and told him the positive affect his letter had upon the church. Changes were made. The immoral person was disciplined and he stopped his sin and returned to the Lord. Good was being done. Righteousness was reigning once more.

This is where our verse comes in. Paul’s firm words took the brethren back. It caused them sorrow. It stung them and made them realize what needed to be done. He was serious, so they became serious.

There are some thoughts for us to think about here.

• There is a time for straight talk that is to the point and very clear. Those are never easy conversations. Often the person who has to lead that discussion is uneasy, scared and apprehensive about doing it. But right prevails. What needs to be said will be said because it is the right thing to do. We do not help anyone by pretending all is fine when it is not. This is true with our children, even if they are grown, our friends, and in the church. Serious talk is hard for some. They’d rather be laughing and have everyone like them. Their silence about things they know are wrong adds to the problems. Silence can be interrupted as going on and approval. Be careful and prayerful when you have a talk with someone. Pick a time that is good, don’t just spring it upon them, nor bring it up in a crowd. The goal is to change behavior not beat the person up. Give them time to think, chew on it and change. Generally, the first reaction is to deny and defend.
• Churches need to do some straight talking through preaching. Generalities can be so vague that no one gets the point. Plain preaching lets an audience see exactly what the Bible teaches. Say it preacher! Say it with love and kindness, but be firm. Don’t apologize for the truth or soften what God says.

• Do not regret doing the right thing. What Paul wrote was tough. He hated it and he knew it would hurt the feelings of the Corinthians. It had to be said. No one was doing anything about the situation. If Paul didn’t, things were certain to tailspin even more and more out of control. Sometimes letters must be sent within the family because of attitudes and actions of others. “Home for the holidays,” can be filled with drama and tension in many households. Some are allowed to go unchecked about their toxic attitudes that they spread upon everyone in listening distance. Simply saying, “that’s the way he is,” or, “he’s been that way for a long time,” doesn’t cut it. If it is wrong, it shouldn’t be tolerated, especially among family. Dealing with that is like poking a stick at a rattlesnake. You know the person will strike at you for what you say. Those fears keep most of us silent. Wrong behavior, wrong attitudes, wrong decisions need to be addressed. The reason we must, is because they are “wrong.” If we love a person, we need to help them.
• Don’t hide behind anonymous letters. That is the act of a coward. The Corinthians knew exactly who wrote the first letter. It was written out of love and based upon a relationship of care and wanting the best. Anonymous letters go into the waste basket. They do more harm, stir up more suspicion than any good that is supposed to be done.

Jesus said if someone sins against us, we are to go to the person and talk to them.

It is too easy for us to do nothing, except gossip to others about how another person is wrong. Trust and credibility is lost and the wrong person continues on his wrong journey. Paul didn’t do that. He wrote a letter to a church about what ought to be done.

I have had to write letters like that. Hated doing it. I must have written and rewritten the letter a dozen times, trying to make it sound just right. I have had face to face conversations about similar circumstances. Confrontation is hard for most of us. It is for me. I don’t like it. I don’t like it in the family and I don’t like it with brethren. But a person gets to the point where people are avoiding one another, not talking to each other, and wounds are becoming massive that unless something is done, you wonder if things can ever be right again.

I hope these words give you some courage and reminder to do the right thing. It’s hard. The easy thing to do is nothing, but you know things won’t get better that way. Something must be said. Look at how Nathan confronted David. Read some passages. Say a few prayers. Then set you will to doing what needs to be done. “Why does it have to be me who brings these things up,” is a common thought you will have. Why you? Because you know the situation, you know the Scriptures, you have love in your heart, and you want things to be better. You want things to be right. You are the one to do it.

Sometimes the results are positive and good things happen, like Corinthians. Sometimes it gets worse. The wrong person continues to do wrong. You find comfort in that you told them. They know. Ignorance is not the issue, it is rebellion. Like the watchman in Ezekiel, you did your best and your duty to warn them. Their blood will not be upon your hands. And maybe, just maybe, after a while, they will take what you said to heart and return to doing right.

Roger