Jump Start # 3428

1 John 4:19 “We love, because He first loved us.”

I’m at a point in life where many that are my age are retiring. I’m asked that often, “How much longer are you going to preach?” That may be wishful thinking, hoping I’ll stop. I have worked longer than my dad did, who was an engineer. There are many things I really like about preaching. I like writing sermons. I enjoy these Jump Starts. I like reading, shaping ideas and sharing them with others. I like talking about Jesus, whether behind a pulpit or sitting on a couch.

But there is one aspect of preaching that I have never liked. Didn’t when I first started, decades ago, and still don’t like it. And, I have been through these things so many times that one would think by now you ought to be ok with these things, but I’m not. What I’m talking about is trying to work through family problems, especially when both parties are Christians. Hurt feelings. Things said. Misunderstandings. Lack of trust. Not talking to each other. Mad at each other. Blaming each other. And, some how the preacher is pulled into the middle of this dog fight with the hopes that he can settle it and everyone walks away from the table, smiling and happy.

Years ago there was a nasty divorce that somehow I got pulled in the middle of. Before it was over, I was speaking in court before an attorney who was trying to stump me about the Bible. Sometimes, it’s parents and a teen. Sometimes it’s  grown children and their aging parent.

Those family battles can be so difficult. Often, no one comes out winning. And, the misery and toll it takes can harm a whole generation.

Here are some thoughts:

First, most times, if not all times, everyone involved in the family squabble is miserable. No one is happy. I’ve seen it so bad that grown siblings refused to talk to each other. I’ve seen people rushing from a cemetery where mama was just buried to get to the house to take what they wanted before anyone else got there.

Second, we preachers are often brought into the middle of these family fights because someone trusts us and they think we have words of wisdom. Often, we don’t. The situations can be so messy that professionals, if not attorneys, need to be contacted to establish some official boundaries. The preacher speaks from the standpoint of the Bible, and often the angry parties involved have their minds already made up as to what should happen. And, when those ideas do not line up with what the preacher said, then everyone becomes mad at the preacher.

Third, I have been invited more than once to help settle things, only to realize that one side was using me to their advantage. That was uncomfortable and unfair.

Family problems are not unique to our times. A walk through the Bible shows a lot of messy families. Look at the first family, Cain and Abel. Lot’s daughters got daddy drunk and had sexual relations with him. Joseph’s brothers were jealous and wanted to kill him. David’s family reeked of dysfunction and turmoil. Godly people with ungodly families.

Even in the N.T., we see a man who interrupted Jesus and demanded that he settle a family dispute about inheritances. The Samaritan woman had been married multiple times and was now living with someone.

There are many reasons why we find these messy family situations, both then and today. A lot has to do with attitudes, following Jesus and the choices one makes. And, somehow, we can become the most impatient and the most angry towards those we love the most.

What are we to do? Consider these thoughts:

First, in winning the skirmish, one might lose the war. Fussing about finances, who gets what, communication, letting one know where the other is, you might win that battle, but in winning, if you ruin a relationship, it’s not worth it. Remembering the big picture helps. We can get so worked up, heated and say things that may never be forgotten or forgiven. A permanent stake can be driven into the heart of the people we love because of the way we fussed and argued about things.

Second, as Christian adults, we ought to be able to sit across the table and have a civil conversation about what is bothering us. Sometimes we keep things bottled up within us until we explode. And, boy can we explode. And, it’s at that point, we bring out everything and anything that has annoyed us. Try to stick to the issue at hand. And, it’s best to calm down. Road rage happens because people react at the moment. If they went home and thought through things, most would not behave as they did.

Third, there are times when you might need to bring someone in as a third party or even get professional help. The problem is that some won’t agree with the third party or the professional unless he sides with them.

Fourth, before any discussion and after the discussion, pray. You, as a Christian, want everyone to be saved. And, when our family makes us upset, the prayers we say will help us with our tone and our words.

I wish I had the perfect words to help families. I don’t. I try my best, but most times, I feel that what I said didn’t do much good. There are some situations which really tear the heart. The messes we cause can be great. It can take just a moment to create a big problem that later takes years to fix.

Love one another—seems so simple, but it can be so difficult, especially when we are dealing with family.

Roger

Jump Start # 1961

1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us.”

So, there has been this stray cat hanging around our house. He looks pitiful and rough. He’s not eaten in awhile, is scared and jittery. My sweet wife felt sorry for this cat. She has been feeding him every morning. He now hangs around looking for the free food. The cat still won’t let us get too close to him. He is putting on some weight and his eyes are looking better. His life has gotten better because of the care my wife has given him. Now, the weather is turning. It’s supposed to get cold. She’s worried about the cat. My thoughts are it’s an outside cat, he’ll figure things out. That wasn’t the right answer. So, off to the store we went. We got a Styrofoam cooler, straw and a tub to put the cooler in. Last night she was shaving the outside of the cooler so it would fit into the tub. Then she cut holes in the tub and cooler so the cat could craw in. The straw will be the bedding and the lids will be duck taped and sealed tightly. All of this, with the hope that Mr. Cat will go in when it turns cold. After my wife was done, there was a real mess to clean up. Styrofoam doesn’t sweep up very well. There was a lot of time put into this kitty hotel. This cat has no idea of all the work that my wife put into this project. He doesn’t realize what cat food costs nor how much my wife is trying to not only save his life, but make it better. This cat doesn’t come up and rub our legs. It does let us pet it. Get too close and it turns and runs. There’s no “thank you,” out of that cat. My wife is doing this simple because she cares for this critter. She has even named this cat.

All of this took me to our verse today. God loves us. He loved us first. He loved us when we weren’t very loveable. He loved us when we went thinking about Him. He loved us while we were still sinning. That’s God. And, in many ways, we are like that outside cat that hangs around our house. We show up for the blessings and get to the point in our lives where we expect them. God has gone through a lot of trouble to not just keep us alive, but to make our lives better. More than Styrofoam that is hard to sweep up, God had a cross. He sent Jesus to a world that mocked Him, laughed at Him, challenged Him, denied Him and wouldn’t even say, “thank you,” for all the trouble that He went through. There are times in our lives when we are called upon to do something that we really do not want to do. I was asked on stage once at a show in Branson. I really did not want to do that. I can only imagine what Jesus felt coming to this earth. He did it. He did it willingly. He did it even though He may not have wanted to. He did it to make our lives better.

God sees us not as cute and adorable puppies in the pet shop window. We were like that stay cat at my house, not much to look at. We were rebellious and selfish. We ran from God when He tried to reach out for us. We like the blessings of God, but we didn’t want to be around God. Yet, God didn’t give up. He knew what was coming. He knew just what we needed. Instead of a kitty house, God prepared a cross. There was a sacrifice. God didn’t give up junk. He sent the best, Jesus. Pure. Obedient. Sinless. Perfect. That was the sacrifice for us. We have no idea of what all God went through. He did it not for His sake, but for us. Without His help, we were lost. We’d die eternally, if God hadn’t done something.

Now, I don’t expect much from that outside cat. A purr once in a while would be nice, but it’s a cat. It doesn’t understand, nor really care what we went through. I’ve wondered if that cat would even be alive today, had my wife not started feeding it. But we’re not cats. We can do more than that cat does. We are capable of understanding, and that’s why God has explained what He did in the Scriptures. More than that, we are capable of thanking God, trusting God and following God. We can worship God. We can obey God. He has saved us and we can show our thanks by loving Him and being like Him.

Some animals do well on their own. I don’t this outside cat was one of them. He looked like he was on the fast track to a quick death. We don’t do well on our own either. Oh, so many think that they do. They look at the square footage in their house, their fat 401’s, the degrees on the wall, the season tickets to the ballgames, the scrapbooks filled with vacation pictures and declare that life has been pretty good for them. It has. They have been blessed. But they don’t see what’s coming. All of those things do little when we are standing before the throne of God in judgment. What profit is there, Jesus asked, if one gains the whole world and loses his soul? Only God can save our souls. Only God knows what it takes.

It will be interesting to see if the outside cat will even go into the shelter my wife constructed. He may avoid it. We may get some other animals in there. All this work may be wasted. It may be something that the cat needs but never uses. He may end up freezing, while a shelter is right there for him. And, like that silly cat, some of us may not freeze, but die spiritually, while our salvation is right there in Jesus Christ. All the work that God has done may be wasted on us, because we refuse to turn to the cross and obey the Lord. Our stubbornness will keep us away from God and it will be our own death.

It is amazing to see spiritual lessons all around us. Open your eyes, is what the Lord told the disciples. A stray cat that’s hungry and a mess. A lot like us. Hope is found in someone greater helping out. It’s the same for us.

Do we get what God has done for us?

Roger

Jump Start # 847

1 John 4:19 “We love, because He first loved us.”

God loves us. That thought is the key to the foundation of the Bible story. God loves us. His love is a choice. His love is not based upon us. If it were, we’d be sunk. We forget that sometimes. We think that we are so cute, adorable and irresistible. We’re not. We think we’re big shots. We’re not. We think we are clever. Wrong. We think we are impressive. We’re not. We don’t like to think what we really are. We are broken. We are lost. We are sinful. We are a mess. Most broken things are thrown away. Not us. God loves us even though we are broken.

God loves us and we love God. Our love is not parallel to God’s love. That’s what is so fascinating about our passage today. We love, because He first loved us.

• He had no reason to love us, but He did. We have every reason to love God.
• He loved us, even though we could not do anything for Him. We love God because He has done so much for us.
• He loved us at our worst. We love God at His best. He is always best.
• He loved us when we didn’t love Him. We love God, as our passage states, because He first loved us.
• He has never stopped loving us. There are periods in our life when we have not love God.
• He can do nothing to love us more. We can all certainly love God more.
• He loves us constantly and always. Our love for God can run hot and cold based upon our moods. The church at Ephesus left their first love. The church at Laodicea was lukewarm. God is not like that. We are.
• He loves based upon a choice. Our love, too often, is emotional and feeling or circumstantial based.

God loves us. We love God. The love is not the same. I’m glad God doesn’t love like we do. I wish we could love like He does. The parables of Jesus allows us to visualize this amazing love of God. The compassionate master who was owed 10,000 talents by a servant, forgave him, and released him from his obligation. He loved the servant. The prodigal’s father should have scolded his irresponsible, wasteful, and thoughtless son. Instead, he felt compassion, forgave and embraced him. Those are more than cool stories. Those are windows into the heart of God. We see God in those parables. We see that God loves.

God loves us. That is the first step in getting someone to come home spiritually. We often do not feel loved, wanted or needed. We know we’ve wrecked things. The trail of destruction behind us is pretty obvious. Broken vows, broken marriages, bad habits, bad attitudes, twisted souls and living in the darkness of sin. Guilt, shame, frustration and worry fill our hearts. We know. We’ve been wrong. Yet, and still yet, God loves us. He hasn’t tossed us out with other broken things. He hasn’t given up. He doesn’t cut us from the team. He is patient. He is loving. He has a better way, a better hope and a better use for us. God loves us. We don’t give up because He hasn’t given up. When a jailer in Philippi drew a sword and was ready to take his life, Paul told him of Jesus. He dropped the sword. He listened. He believed. He was baptized. Why? What made his mind go from giving up to accepting God? Suicide to discipleship? It was God’s love. God’s love is Jesus. The dying Savior is God’s love. The resurrection is God’s love. Forgiveness is God’s love.

God has not given up. He has not counted you down and out. Things may be a mess, but God can turn them around. God’s love motivates us. It leads us to change. It challenges us to better and nobler things. It opens the door to belief, repentance, baptism and discipleship. God loves you, yes, even you!

He wants you to love Him. He wants you to want Him. He wants you to follow Him, not just now and then, but wholly, completely and always. God loves. He always has. He always will. It’s great being loved.

God loves you. That’s the best thought of the day.

Roger