Jump Start # 2378

1 Samuel 20:18 “Then Jonathan said to him, ‘Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed because your seat will be empty.’”

Our verse comes from the long and dark and troublesome times in young David’s life. He was the future king of Israel, but in the meantime, the current king, Saul, was on the warpath. Jealousy, bitterness and likely a dose of mental disease, has caused Saul to lose it. He was out of control. He was chasing David from place to place and while all of this was going on, the Philistines were taking advantage and advancing. Saul wanted David dead.

David had a confident who he could trust. It was none other than Jonathan, Saul’s son. The hearts of David and Jonathan were knit together. Jonathan fed information to David that kept him safe. Our verse is found within promises, vows and oaths that Jonathan made to David. It was time for David to go. He had to hide once more. Saul was getting close and things weren’t safe for David.

Jonathan says to David, “You will be missed because you seat will be empty.” That’s a great statement. It shows the influence, impact and difference we can make in the lives of others. This is true within the family and this is true within a congregation. And, there are different reasons a seat may become empty.

Sometimes a person moves away. We don’t see them all the time. Yes, there are phone calls and Facetime, but it’s not the same. I have a son who lives far away. He spent a few days with us as he was up preaching. I dropped him off at the airport, and immediately I felt what Jonathan said. There was an emptiness. This happens in a congregation. Preachers move. Sometimes we don’t want them to move. It’s a hard decision and some never like the decision that is made. Song leaders, elders, and others move away. Job opportunities, retiring and moving toward the kids, and there is a hole, an emptiness felt in the congregation.

Sometimes it’s death that leaves an empty place. This is especially hard in the family. Holidays never seem the same after that. There is just a part of us that dies that day. In the congregation, once the sadness passes, there is an emptiness left. I think of those smiling faces, those giant bear hugs, those kind words that were spoken by many who are now on the other side. Sure others have come in. Certainly we continue on, but there remains an empty seat.

Now, in all of this, there remains another thought for us. Jonathan was going to miss David. They were more than just friends, David was chosen by God because he was upright, godly and a leader. He was courageous and brave. He was the one who raced toward Goliath, when Saul and the rest of Israel cowered in fear. David was impressive. More chapters are devoted to David than Abraham, Noah, or even Moses. Every good king after him is measured by his standard. Even Jesus is called the “son of David,” in the Gospels. This was more than just missing a friend, it was a major force of good in Jonathan’s life. He certainly wasn’t getting this from his father. Saul had lost touch with God. Saul was out of control and wicked. One can only imagine the hateful things that were said about David in Saul’s home.

I truly believe that some could drop out and only a few would ever notice. The reason being is that they have not contributed anything to the work in the kingdom. Some slide in late. They speak to very few. They leave in a hurry and they are never around to help out, contribute, add to the things that are going on. Need helpers to teach. You won’t find these folks. Need some to help in VBS. Won’t be these people. Work day at the church building. Going to do some cleaning up and pulling weeds. These folks won’t be there. Having a special series of lessons during the week. You won’t find these folks. You don’t see them visiting others at the hospital. You’ll never hear of them sending someone a card. They never take food when there is a need. You won’t see them engaged in any group activities. Barely in Sunday morning and out as fast as they can. They aren’t connected to anyone. They do not have anyone from the church into their homes. When invited to come to others, they always turn down the offer. They never participate in worship. Most in the congregation barely know them because they are so rarely there and so rarely available.

And, to our verse today, when this type of person is gone, they are hardly missed. They didn’t do anything. They didn’t add any value to the work. They, like the hitch hiker of years gone by, will hop on if you are going the direction that they want to go. You must drive, use your gas, and when they have gone as far as they want, they will get out. Not even a thanks, let alone helping pay for gas. The hitch hiking member does the same. He’s along for the ride. Don’t ask anything of him. And, when he’s gone as far as he wants, he’ll drop out. And, his seat will be empty, but most won’t miss him, because there was nothing to miss. To have a fellowship, one must stick around, get to know others and to connect with others. I have been to places where a person’s name was read as being withdrawn from. I notice people looking around and some even whisper, “Who is that? Do they go here?”

So, we must ask and we must wonder about ourselves. If our seat became empty, would we be missed? Are we making a difference, connecting and using our abilities to help the kingdom? This does not mean one has to be a song leader or a Bible class teacher. Not everyone can do that. But you can get there a bit early. You can greet people with a smile. You can give hugs. You can connect with the little ones. You can find something good to do. It may be nothing more than picking up papers off the floor. It may be nothing more than opening doors for folks. It may be pulling weeds around the building. It may be mailing bulletins out to people. There’s lots and lots of things behind the scenes that need to be done. So often, the preacher is doing too many of those things and others ought to and could help out.

David’s seat was going to be empty. He was going to be missed. How about the seat you fill down at the church house. If you were gone, would you be missed? It makes us wonder if all we are doing is taking, taking, and taking and in return, we are giving so little of ourselves to the work.

There are several when they are just gone for a week or two, I miss them. I notice that they were not there. They are like David’s among us. Influential. Godly. Sharing. Connected.

Someday, your seat will be empty. God will call us to Him. You family will miss you. You close friends will miss you. Will your congregation miss you? Maybe it’s time we got off the bench and got into the game of life.

Roger

Jump Start # 984

1 Samuel 20:18 “Then Jonathan said to him, “Tomorrow is the new moon, and you will be missed because your seat will be empty.”

We are just days away from Thanksgiving. It’s a busy time for many of us. Food has been purchased to prepare a feast. Some will be traveling and others will be having family coming in. It’s a great time. Memories, laughter, fun are all a special part of this.

Our verse came to my mind this morning because I know of several friends who will be going through this Thanksgiving with someone missing. Especially on my heart is the Pickup family in Florida, the Wright family in Ohio, the Brewer family in Lafayette, Indiana and the Smelser family in Pennsylvania. Each of those families had funerals this year of someone who was much too young to die. Theses are not the only ones. There are many families that will sit down for a holiday meal and one seat will be empty. It’s one thing for a person who cannot make it home, especially those in the military. That’s hard. But when we know that there is a seat that will always be empty, because they are never coming home, the holidays can seem cruel and bitter. While everyone else seems to be having a great time, you are falling apart on the inside.

Our passage today anticipated death. David was being chased by King Saul. The king was obsessed with killing David, to the extent that it seems he let everything else go in the nation. He sent his troops after David. Time and time again, Saul nearly killed David. It was the protective providence of God that spared him. Jonathan, Saul’s son, had a special bond with David. They were friends. Jonathan became the inside informant that warned David of Saul’s plans. Our verse surrounds one of those warnings. Saul was going to use the feast day as an attempt to kill David. Heeding Jonathan’s warnings, David would be gone. His seat would be empty. He would be missed by Jonathan.

The first holidays are the hardest after a death. Everything seems out of place. Those around you are unsure how to act. Do things go on as normal? Do we cancel what we usually do? Do we avoid talking about the one who has passed away? Do we bring it up? No one knows. You do not know. The empty seat is a reminder that things are never going to be the same. The empty seat pulls you into tears and sorrow. How does a person deal with the empty seat?

First, understand that God knows. Pour your feelings out to God. Prayer helps. We sing, “Does Jesus care?” The chorus reminds us, “Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares…”

Second, lead the family in making this a special Thanksgiving. There may be tears, but that is ok. Talk about the good times, the memories, the funny things. Share and enjoy. Remember that there are others in the family and life goes on. Spiritual hearts will especially make this easier.

Third, this doesn’t have to be a huge cry session. It’s ok to laugh, have fun and be yourself. Everyone else may think you have to be in a gloomy mood, but you don’t. God has blessed you. God is good. There is much to be thankful for. One of the things that stands out the most is that you were able to know so well the person who passed away. You knew things that no one else did. You knew what made that person so special and unique. God allowed you to be a part of that person’s life and heart. You sat at the table with that person on a regular basis. That is a huge blessing that very few will ever understand. God brings us into each others lives. God allows our paths to intersect. We touch each other’s hearts and are made the better because of that. How special and unique you are to have really known the person that passed away. You were blessed.

Fourth, the first holidays with an empty seat hurt. There is no getting around that. Time is a wonderful healer. You will always miss that empty seat, but with time, it becomes a pleasant memory. In many ways grief is like surgery. At first, it just flat out hurts. With time, the pain lessens. There is no way to fast forward through the first year. It is part of the healing process. Others have gotten through it and so can you, especially with God’s help.

Fifth, with out realizing this, others are watching you. Those in the family are watching you, your friends are watching you and those in the church are watching you. They are there for you. You do not journey alone. That’s wonderful. But more than that, they are learning from you. Their time will come. It does for all of us. Others will be where you are now. We don’t wish that upon anyone but the Scriptures are true, “It’s appointed unto man to die once…”  Next year, there will be someone where you are. People will remember how you journey through the holiday with a seat empty. Your spiritual strength will inspire others. It will teach others. It will be an example. What you are going through is much bigger than just you. Others will see you.

Finally, thoughts of your loved one will bring tears for certain, but how would that person want you to go through this holiday? Most, would say that they’d expect you to gather with family, make memories, share life, laughter and continue on. They wouldn’t want their death to ruin you or keep you from enjoying life. They want you to be thankful. They want you to smile again.

For those who chose to walk with the Lord, we know, we believe, that a day is coming in which every seat of the righteous will be filled. There will be no empty seats. All of God’s children will be together. That will be marvelous. That thought motivates us, even at the holiday time, to teach and remind our family members who are not Christians to give Jesus a chance. Talk about it. Share. Tell them why you are, even with an empty seat. It also motivates us to continue on. We want that grand reunion in Heaven someday. The journey for us is not over. There are more things to be done here. The kingdom work continues. We must be engaged in that until God calls us home.

Home for the holidays is hard for some families. Be mindful of that. Include those families in your prayers. Go out of your way to give them a hug. Don’t pry. Don’t be nosey. But be there. It helps. Do something special for them. It helps knowing that others are thinking of you, especially with  empty seat at the table.

May God especially bless those families that have an empty seat for the first time. Tears and smiles seem to go together, like mashed potatoes and gravy. Our family will be thinking about your family. We will offer special prayers just for you and your family.

Roger