Jump Start # 1873

Proverbs 3:1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments.”

NOTE: If you read our Jump Start yesterday about using social media to spread the message. Yesterday we reported that our Sunday night sermon was VIEWED by 12,000 people. Today, the number is over 17,000. The number increased 5,000 in one day!

Sunday is Father’s Day. It’s the time that we honor dear ole’ dad. Some dads did a really good job. Others, were never around. Some are Christians today because of their dads. Some had to overcome the obstacles that their dads put in their way. Their dads stood between them and Christ.

The first several chapters of Proverbs are written from the perspective of a dad instructing his son. Many of us remember those days. How to cut the yard. How to drive a car. How to fix things. How to be a man. We grew up, got married and we became dads. We found out that parenting wasn’t easy. We learned that many things people say do not work. Kids take time, money and a lot of patience. Stress from work and stress from the world piles up and then the stress from raising children can’t leave a parent tired, worried and stretched.

We all want to be not just a good parent, but an amazing parent. We want our kids to adore us as much as we adore them. We want our children to be happy, get along and know the Lord. We try to set forth the right example. We try to find a healthy congregation to be a part of. We guide our children to finding good friends. We try to get them to eat healthy food. We are concerned about how much electronics they watch. Go outside and play, but then we worry about them getting too much sun. Then everyone on Facebook has an opinion. Home schooling is the best, we read. The next thing we read is “Ten reasons never to Home School.” The parent is confused. They are confused about food, vacations, what time to put the kids to bed, potty training, discipline—for every piece of advice, you’ll find a blog declaring “Ten things wrong with that.”

Here’s some thoughts:

1. Everyone has an opinion and they think that theirs is the best. If you do not do what some advice, they think you’ll ruin your kids and you are an idiot. My thoughts are just BREATHE. You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Draw from your experiences. Was it good? Was it bad? Look deeply into the word of God. Mom and Dad talk through these things. Think it out. Have a plan, don’t just react. Your children are given to you by God. It’s your responsibility, not some blog writer, to raise your children. You have invested yourself in them. No one, other than God, wants them to grow up right as you do.

2. Every generation faces challenges that they think are the worst ever. For me in high school, the issues were the post hippie mentality, civil rights in a racially tense school and drugs. Lots of drugs. I’m glad I wasn’t a parent then. Yet, for my dad, when he was in high school, there was a major world war going on. My grandparents had both of their sons overseas engaged in that war. Communication was limited. They didn’t even know where their sons were. Two sons, one fresh out of high school in places many had never heard of before. I can only imagine what those nightly prayers involved. It doesn’t help young parents today to try to tell them what you went through was so much worse than what they are going through. This isn’t a contest. Each generation faces tough choices. I feel in many places today, the church is better, stronger and more able to help than in times past. We focus more on the individual and the family today in our classes and sermons. Help is available.

3. The joy of parenting is seen in your children who are grown, walking with the Lord and now raising their own children. No parent is perfect. Every parent sees things that they wish they could have done differently. We look not in the rear view mirror, but through the windshield of life. One of the greatest blessings is to have been a part of a home where mom and dad walked with the Lord. What an advantage that gave us. The rules were stricter. You had to account for your time and who you were with. You were expected to be at the dinner table. You went to worship. That was a given. No discussion about that. No sour attitudes nor bad words were allowed. Ever. Your clothing had to be modest. You were taught to pray. You learned the Bible.

And now, all these years later, we remember those instructions of our dads. Some of our dads preached. Some served as elders. Some were deacons. Many taught Bible classes. Families from the church were invited into our home. We had to clean up the house and be on our good behavior when they came. We grew up knowing the difference between our Sunday clothes and play clothes. We were taught to respect the Bible and to take care of the one we had. Our parents spanked. We were sent to our rooms. We could not go to places our friends were going. And, most of us now realize that we gave our parents grief when we were teenagers. We pushed the envelope of right and wrong. We challenged the rules and broke them often. We also remember the looks on their faces when we were baptized, many of us by our own dads.

Here we are now, parents and grandparents. We have taken the roles once held so honorably by our parents. The torch is now in our hands and we realize that someday we will be handing it off to those who follow us.

Our parents have given the greatest thing that they have to us, their hearts and their love. They tried their best to make us be our best. Today, we see that. Through all the arguments, fights, fussing and discipline they wanted us to grow up and be responsible citizens and servants of Christ. We are the ones who are now shaping and leading the church today. It is us who are developing the hearts of those who follow.

We owe much to our parents. Many of us would not be where we are today had it not been for them. And now, we must do the same. We must pour our hearts and love into our children. We can’t stop. We can’t let the world have them. We must fight, teach and show them that the way of the cross leads home.

Thanks, Dad!

Roger

Jump Start # 948

Proverbs 3:1 “My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments.”

The role of parents is very special to God. Throughout the Bible we find many lessons and examples about parenting. Much of the ills and woes that our country is experiencing comes from a breakdown at home. Too many things that ought to be taken care of at home are not being done. Social skills, dependability, respect, understanding finances, responsibility, politeness, caring and sharing should all come from the home. It’s not being done. This is being shifted to schools, churches and other places. It belongs at home. Home is the first school. Home is where we first learn rules. Home is where we are first introduced to God.

Once you start down the parent road, there is no turning back. You can’t resign as a parent. You can’t pass it off to others, even though many try. Tired, you are still a parent. Stressed, you are still a parent. Busy, you are still a parent. Once you are a parent, you are always a parent. Through the years the roles in the home change, but you are still and always will be a parent.

I hear many older parents complain about younger parents. I wonder if it has always been that way. Younger parents do things differently than the way older parents did things.

Our passage today is part of a series found in the opening chapters of Proverbs. These are the words of a dad to his son. There are many serious topics covered. Teaching is a process. It’s never a one and down situation. There are talks. There are talks. There are more talks.

The hope of the child is remembering the lessons of the dad. The dad pulls from his years of learning and experience. Dad has been there. He has been tempted. He has witnessed sin. He knows heartache. He knows success. He knows what works and he knows what doesn’t work. The key that underlines all of this is a knowledge and trust in the word of God. It is God who knows us the best. It is God who has the best plan for families. God knows. Any parenting that ignores God is doomed to be substandard at it’s best. We must stand upon God.

The home needs love, forgiveness, grace and a heart that serves. These truths come from God and His word. Without that, bitterness and anger stands where forgiveness and grace ought to be. Selfishness takes the place of service. Rules are fussy without God. Things are inconsistent. Worship doesn’t have a priority.

God wants a home that is based upon his word. That means prayer, Bible reading, spiritual discussions and talks and worship ought to be as normal as getting up and going to school. Homes that are built upon that foundation have a definite advantage on all other homes. They have found what works. They have a help unlike anyone else. They know there is a plan, a path and a purpose to all of this. Certain things are understood. Don’t try cussing in these homes. It won’t be tolerated. Don’t be sassy. Don’t think you can ignore curfew and survive. In these homes, it is understood where we will be on Sunday morning. There is no arguing about that fact. It is understood that older people are addressed with respect. It is understood that helping out is part of being in the family. No one will have your back more than mom and dad and yet no one expects more out of you than mom and dad. The home that God wants is awesome. It is not perfect. It is not free from problems. But there is a solution to those problems, and that is found in the word of God. These homes takes a ton of work. It takes a mom and dad who are sharp and on the ball.

I am soon to teach a new class at my congregation for parents. I’m calling it, “Help! I am a parent!” Many of us have felt that very way. It’s tough being a parent. This week I want to share some thoughts about parenting. I hope this helps.

Our children do not come with instructions printed on their back side, nor is there a return policy on kids. For many of us, our first experiences come from what we saw at home. That can be a good pattern to follow or it may be a nightmare. Dysfunction does not have to be generational and repeated. You can make a difference in your home. You can begin with some amazing patterns that can change your family tree. Some of your fondest memories or your greatest regrets come from your family. This process isn’t for the faint of heart. You need a backbone, a plan and the gumption to stick to your guns. God is counting on you. Your family needs you. It won’t be the school, the government or even the church that gets your family where they need to be. It will come from you, Mom and Dad.

Roger