Jump Start # 1092
Luke 15:28 “But he was angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.”
We continue on with forgiveness. We can’t say enough about forgiveness. We live in times when people do not forgive. They get a gun and shoot people, saving the final bullet for themselves. They are angry with their mates, their co-workers and the system. Vengeance, getting even, settling the score—that drives movies and that is how too many have accepted as the way to go.
God’s people are to be different. Forgiveness is the banner under which we march. As we stated yesterday, forgiveness is hard, doesn’t make sense and is counter to human nature. Letting go and releasing when you have been hurt, when you have not gotten things back to where they should be, when it will cost you, flies in the face of all reason and sense. Why should I, is a fair question to ask. The answer of course, is that Jesus forgave you. The answer is remembering the Cross and His blood for what you did.
Our verse today comes from the story of the prodigal son. In many ways both boys were lost, one in the far country and one at home. The father in the story races out to the returning prodigal. At the end of the parable, the father leaves the celebration inside to go entreat the elder son who is outside. The father wanted both boys sitting at the table in the house.
The passage today shows the disposition of the elder brother. He was angry. He dug his heels in and refused to go in. He was having nothing to do with the prodigal. He refused to acknowledge relationship. He called him “this son of yours.” He was his brother, but he didn’t want any part of that.
All of this reminds us that forgiveness is a choice. It is not automatic nor can it be demanded upon a person. It is actually even that way with God. The Almighty does not owe us forgiveness. He does not have to forgive. We forget that sometimes. We flippantly think that “I can always ask God for forgiveness.” That statement shows arrogance, a lack of Biblical understanding, and taking advantage of God. He does not have to forgive you. It is His choice, not your RIGHT. Your attitude, your seriousness about leaving the sin, your desire to follow Him are all involved with forgiveness. God loves and is compassionate, but is not a fool to be used and taken advantage of.
Now, the same applies to us. Forgiveness is a choice. When we choose to forgive, we are walking in the steps of the Savior. When we don’t forgive, we invite bitterness, ill feelings and a strained relationship to take over our hearts. Should I forgive? Yes, you should. Do I have to? No, you don’t. When you don’t the pain, the hurt, the sorrow continues. Healing cannot take place until you release and forgive. Bitterness grows uglier with time. Bitterness can consume a person. Sour, negative, mean, unkind, unthankful, selfish—these are all the ugly cousins that move in when bitterness takes over. And that’s exactly what happens. Bitterness takes over. It takes over the way you think, the way you feel, the way you worship, the way you see things. The lens of bitterness is dark and dirty. You feel compelled to tell everyone, even strangers, how you were wronged. This becomes the theme of your life. The people at church know about it. It’s repeated at family gatherings. Co-workers know you story. You simply cannot let it go and it gets a hold of you.
Yes, forgiveness is a choice. It’s the right choice. It’s the choice that leads to healthy thinking and righteous living.
The question is always asked, “If the other person doesn’t say he’s sorry, then I do not have to forgive. To forgive without an apology, is something that God wouldn’t even do.” I’ve noticed that those who stand behind that statement are looking for approval. They are hoping that they don’t have to forgive. They look with great anticipation that they can continue being in the bitter mode toward the offender. I don’t see that in Scriptures. Ephesians 4:31-32 shows the two sides. When we don’t forgive we have bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander. When we do forgive, we can be tender-hearted and kind to others. The two are opposites: bitter or kind. Tender-hearted or angry. The difference is forgiveness. I don’t see God approving of me having bitterness because someone refuses to say he’s sorry. I am allowed to be angry until he decides that he is ready to apologize? The offender then, is allowed to continue to hurt and the pain continues. When, and only when he is ready to apologize, then I am released from this bondage of wrong. I don’t see that. That’s not the gist of the New Testament. You’ll not see that in Jesus. Upon the cross, while the soldiers were gambling beneath Him, He prayed for their forgiveness. Jesus didn’t die with bitterness.
Forgiveness is the bridge that unites strained relationships. It is the hope for a future together with someone. Forgiveness is burying the wrong in an unmarked grave and then not returning to the grave with flowers. It’s letting it go. It’s releasing. It’s a choice. My forgiving someone does not mean that they are right with God. They must take it up with the Lord. My forgiving someone is as much about me as it is the wrong that they did. It’s about my recover, my attitude, my putting away anger and bitterness. My restoration to right with the Lord.
Be miserable or forgive and move on. Forgiveness is one sided. You can forgive even though the other person isn’t through hurting you. Restoration takes two sides. It takes both parties to restore a friendship or to restore trust.
Forgiveness is a choice. God chose to forgive you. He didn’t have to. Now can you do the same? Isn’t it about time?
Roger